We went to visit my Parents this weekend. The normally 4/5 hour trip took us 7 hours thanks to a
fiery crash that shut down the highway for a little over an hour. The scene was pretty terrifying once we passed it, I have never been in a serious car accident and hopefully I never will. By the time we arrived it was after midnight and we were exhausted.
Anyway, the visit went well. It's always great to spend time with my Parents, we wined, we dined, and we had fun. Any visit with the Parents always includes a little bit of criticism. I think its normal Parent behavior, not that they think I am doing anything wrong with my life, but there is always room for improvement in all areas of living.
My Mother thinks I'm too thin and asked me if I have been eating. She always asks this, I could gain 5 pounds and she'll still ask. At 5'7" and a size 2 I'm used to people making off color remarks about my physique. Most recently, and acquaintance (after having a few drinks) came up to me and said, "You're SO skinny, do you eat?!" I assure you that I do in fact eat. I find it surprising that people think that they can ask a question like that. I actually don't have any idea what I weigh; I haven't stepped on a scale in over 6 mos. I look healthy and that's all that matters to me.
My Father told me I should work harder. This, after I told him work is currently very slow and I have a lot of down time. I laughed at his comment because if I could work harder I would, but there isn't any actual work to do. I'm on the hunt for a new job currently, one that is more intellectually stimulating but finding one that can meet my salary requirements seems to be impossible right now.
My Mom asked me to go through some of the junk in my childhood bedroom and get rid of what was no longer useful. I found old love letters, photos and all sorts of stuff from my childhood. I got rid of as much as I could in the short time I was there. It brings back so many memories, some good and some bad. I had a rough time as a teenager, having moved in 6th grade to a new school it made it difficult to make friends and I spent a lot of time alone. My classmates were very unforgiving to 'the new girl' and I was miserable. I told my Boyfriend about it as I was reading a letter I had written to myself in 7th grade, he told me that he could understand because kids weren't very nice to him either at that age. Now we both have a lot going on so it's nice to look back and see how much it sucked because it makes me appreciate what I have now even more.
On a more positive note, my Parents raved about my Boyfriend, how much they like him etc. It's nice to hear that from my Parents who in the past didn't like any of my Boyfriends and made it seem like no one would ever be good enough for me. They love him, but more importantly, I love him. We visited a couple of Wineries which is always fun to do and ate at a couple of fantastic restaurants.
So now we are back home, the weather driving back was rain and snow. I have become accustomed to the weather in New England but snow in October is a little ridiculous. I'm sure it will be a cold and snowy winter. Yay.
Anyway, this has gotten too long and boring. Goodnight!
I'm a very different person now than I was in my early 20s yet, still I am haunted by some of the poor choices I made. Fueled by drugs, depression and anger, I did things that I am not proud of, associated with the wrong kind of people and almost ruined my life in the process. Some days I dwell of the past to the point where I feel awful, like I'm a bad person. My Dad always says it's important to let those things go. I'm not sure why I still hold onto some of those things.
